Grand Theft Auto

Suzann Darnall

Obama is always using his automotive allusion to describe what happened to our economy, what the previous administration did, state of the nation, the recovery, and pert near anything else he speaks on. People are always being told they can ride up front, must sit in the back, we're going over a cliff, stuck in a ditch, headed the right way, the motor's running, or some other nonsensical references. He even finally admitted that the banged up wreck that is now our nation has an Obama sticker on it. It's probably also a GM (Government Motors) butt-ugly, energy efficient, piece of crap that was way over-priced even before he drove it off the lot and into the ditch. It now has little or no value and its morals and ethics are not too healthy either.

Well, while I do not think much of Obama, especially as a President, I do choose to honor his choice of poetic license and go with the automotive theme for this article. Of course, I don't think he would be thrilled with my comparisons even if he ever actually saw it. But, here goes!

Obama seems to think that being voted in as President, which was kinda like a teenage boy getting his driver's license gave him the right to hijack the nation's car. But, you see, I look at it not as him owning the car, but as it being OUR car, just like the cars my daughters drove when they were teens were actually the property of my husband and myself. You can drive it, but with our permission and following our rules. Obama pays less attention to the citizens than the average teenager does to his parents. And, he keeps blaming George W. Bush for the car being in the ditch, even though the Democrats have been driving the vehicle since 2007, and Obama took over driving, navigating, AND maintenance in 2009.

I grant you that President Bush got a little off-track, had a flat or two, but he didn't total the car, and managed not to end up stuck in the ditch full of mud. Obama didn't just get flats, he's done pretty much stripped the car of anything useful. And, what's left isn't just in a ditch. I think it's slowly sliding down a steep precipice, like houses do when they get mudslides in California.

Yeah, a lot like California. California is America's land of the failed Socialist experiments. The closest thing we got to the former Soviet Union or Cuba. With a whole lot of yuppie-puppie, hippie, greenie liberals thrown in to make a really ineffective mix. But, enough about California, let's get back in the car even though it's not really going anywhere except down right now.

Of course, sometimes Obama's vehicle is a bus like when he tells the Republicans they have to sit in the back. This creates a bit of a dilemma for me, 'cause I can't be in two places at the same time. He says middle class, which I am, can sit up front. But, I'm also a Republican, thus banished to the back. I suppose I could go all Rosa Parks on him and just sit where I want. Maybe that's what we all need to do. Tell Mr. Bus-driver Obama that we will pick our own seats, thank you very much. Oh, and by the way, you're fired. We're going to get someone else to drive the bus. Someone who will follow the routes laid out by our Constitution, Bill of Rights, and the will of the people. You remember the people?

The people who created this country as a land of freedom more than 200 years ago. The people who spread across the continent creating a new nation. The people who fought a civil war to keep this country united. The people who, through American exceptionalism, invented, designed, and built a modern age that has spread world-wide. The people who fought in World War I to help allies and stop tyranny. The people who fought in World War II to defeat even more rampant tyranny. The people who silently fought the Cold War to bring Soviet communism to its knees. The people who fought in Vietnam, Bosnia, and Grenada. The people who are still fighting in Afghanistan and Iraq while your crowd is disenfranchising them from voting next month. The people who work each and every day to make this place a little better homeland to leave to their children. Do you remember or even know those people or their history?

You might want to get to know us. We the people. The citizens who want this vehicle driven by the people and for the people. This ain't your car or bus. It isn't even your road or ditch. It is your wreck, though. And, we are about to take away your keys, your license, and give you a ticket. A ticket out of town maybe on a rail. You can take a lot of your little passengers with you. The ones that we don't already send home after November 2nd. 'Cause y'all need to remember that anything you are "driving" is just on loan. From the American people! The citizens that you are so swift to tell where to sit, how to vote, and when to shut up.

You know that fancy limousine, as well as Air Force One and Marine One, that you ride around in all the time? You need to remember that they're all loaners. As is the nation. You might have a free-ride for now but that's gonna end real soon.

Just like that teenage boy riding around in his parents' car, you need to remember that you don't own it, and it can be taken away if you don't obey the laws, follow the rules, and drive safely. You have flattened all four tires, run out of gas, let an unlicensed driver (Nancy Pelosi) behind the wheel, dented the body, and cracked the engine block. All of which you managed to do while driving someplace none of us have ever been or ever wanted to go and you even managed to get lost while doing that! Consequently, it's gonna take us a really long time, with some good sensible Conservative mechanics, to get this nation back on the right path and going in the right direction.

But, we are the citizens of the country that gave rise to Henry Ford and NASCAR. One thing we know and love is our cars! You remember Ford? The man who founded the company that said no to your bailouts? The company that has had the impressive profits for 2010? Gotta love that free market and capitalism!

Anyway, Americans know about cars and roads. We know how to read a map. We know how to spot a shady used-car salesman who is trying to unload a clunker on us. And, Mr. Obama, you and your "vision for America" is about the biggest lemon I've ever seen.

I'm not buying your car, I'm not traveling your road, and I'm not going along for the ride. What I am going to do is keep telling people the truth about what a bunch of losers the secular-progressives are. Y'all are like the Edsel, Gremlin, and DeLorean all rolled up into one. These are some of the worst cars ever built and that is exactly what your change is like. Only y'all aren't so much about building as tearing down.

It's less like you are driving a car and more like you are in one of those giant machines that goes along ripping up the pavement. Makes it sorta hard for anyone to even want to follow you, must less actually be able to do it.

So, Mr. Obama, would you please step out of the car? You are too drunk on power to qualify as our designated driver.

© Suzann C. Darnall, OCTOBER 2010

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